Stay Strong♡

Hurt can be a tool to propel someone forward. Although it hurts, it can be used as fuel and lead to somewhere greater than where you first expected to go.

When I go through trials and tribulations, I go through the most common emotions one can experience. Stress, anxiety, grief, loneliness, you get the picture. However, one of the most comforting thoughts I hold dear is that God never said it would be easy to follow Him. If anything, following Him is harder.

Recently, I have been going through it! The life of a student-athlete is hard enough, but adding social pressures and external life issues can add to the fire. Life is overwhelming, but God is the peacemaker fighting in our corner.

Last week, I wrote the best blog post I had to date and could not wait to share it with you all. As I went to publish my blog post the website crashed, and thus my article vanished into internet oblivion. The hurt and frustration I experienced was beyond what I imagined. After this experience, I lost my motivation, confidence, and determination to write and upload. Losing that article was a lesson. That lesson is that I am so close to the purpose that God has for me that the Devil is shaking in his boots! God ordains things for a reason, whether that may hurt or not. Although I still want to sit in my pity party, I realize that I can not give in to the discouragement the Devil wants me to revel in.

This past Thursday, I got the worst phone call a pet mom could get. I answered my moms call and immediately broke down after hearing my cat Xela was about to die. I woke up that morning praying to God that I would get good news from her vet visit and got the opposite. The overwhelming heartache and emptiness I felt turned into bitterness and resentment. I could not help but ask God why? All the "if only's" and all the "I wishes" have been rampant in my brain since she passed. I'm relieved she's at peace, but selfishly I wish I could have seen her one last time.

People say God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, and I believe this. Sometimes you have to take several steps back to get the big picture and reevaluate the future steps you take with Jesus on your side. These trials are helping me learn and accept that it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to feel grief, to feel hurt, to feel lonely. God knows your limits and knows your heart. Believe and trust in Him, ALWAYS.

Months and months ago, I spent a lot of time in 1 Kings and wrote that God knows our limits. As I grabbed my Bible to start reading, God sent me directly to the page I wrote that message on, and confirmed everything in my heart about His goodness. The story of Elijah is one of my favorites to read and reflect on in the Bible. It is an amazing example of how God cares for and provides for his children. Although the journey may be painful, there is always a purpose for that pain. Allow God to be your comforter and support system amidst the pain.

One of the first verses I ever memorized is the same verse God has been speaking to me during this season I am in. This verse moves mountains for me and I am sure it will for you too.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

I love and miss you so much Xela Ann, enjoy Heaven ♡